I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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