You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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