Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
