I heard we made out
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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