I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
