DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
