where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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