Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
