I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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