i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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