shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
