Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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