so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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