I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
