If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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