what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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