There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
