The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
