I didn't shave. On purpose
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
