i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
