my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Vodka?
Forever.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
