Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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