I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
