Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
