a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
