Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
