So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
