piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
