I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
