He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
