Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We have started to decorate penises.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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