I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize