masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
