Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
