I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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