Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
