He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
