We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
