I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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