I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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