I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
