Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
