I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
