I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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