So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
