D3 body, D1 cock
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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