Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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