***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
