I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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