There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
