none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
