Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
