I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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