I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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