Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
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he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
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I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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