I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
