You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
