Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
