Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
