remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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