there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
