So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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